Tuesday, August 31, 2004

One of the advantages of working and living in the same place is that I can go home and take a nap at lunch. I don't know why I couldn't sleep last night, but at 2 a.m. I decided it wasn't worth even trying to sleep anymore and started cleaning.

It has been a fairly hectic week here. School started yesterday. Everyone has been back in the dorms for almost a week now, so I'm getting used to all the people. Last thursday, one of the students decided to set some votive candles on a piece of paper on top of a wooden bookshelf, light them, then leave. The fire department wasn't very happy, neither were the students, faculty and staff who were evacuated from the building.

Saturday night the dorm went bowling. It was fun, but I think my highest score was a 75. Object lesson #1 why I should not be allowed out in public: I thought it would be a good idea to play air guitar to Welcome to the Jungle in the middle of the lane since I was making a fool of myself with my bowling skills anyway.

And to prove how big a nerd I am: I was watching the Video Music Awards with some students in the lounge Sunday night. As the show starts with J.Lo sashaying on stage, the students become quiet with anticipation, but I blurt out "hey! is that a Chihuly?", referring to the huge glass sculpture in the middle of the stage. Yeah. I think I 'm getting to old for the VMA's!

Again, check out kaddish and you can't blow up a social relationship. I didn't do them justice earlier. They are both well worth your time.

I was up at 2 a.m. cleaning my apartment.

Needless to say, this won't be an interesting or particularly coherent post, but I felt the need to mention the two new links I added. Kaddish is a blog a stumbled I across when looking for a website to link to my last post. She is a fellow Jew and I believe a fellow redhead, so I took to her site immediately! It's also a great contrast to all the male dominated blogs I'm linked to. The other new blog is You Can't Blow Up a Social Relationship. This has become a staple for me. I check it regularly, usually in the middle of the afternoon when I've done as much work as I'm willing to do for one day and need to be entertained. It's a fun and interesting blog, so check it out and let him know what you think!

Thursday, August 26, 2004

My father died two years ago today. It's strange, because today is just another day. I went to the orthodontist to get my ties changed. We're still orienting at the college so there are people everywhere looking lost and confused. I'm not really sure how I should react. It's been a difficult couple of years trying to deal with the unresolved issues, because, if truth be known, I lost my father long before he died. But today it all seems okay. I'm a little less social than usual, and a little more reflective, but life is good. It's strange when someone dies; the world just seems so garish and life becomes pointless and we start to reevaluate our beliefs and dreams. At least I do. I don't deal well with death and it's taken me the past two years to fully comprehend what this means and how it impacts my life. Everything I've done lately, from getting braces, to taking up guitar again, to changing my focus of study is because I don't want to end up like my father: alone, afraid and hopeless.

I think I will go to Temple tomorrow and say kaddish.

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

My 15 year high school is quickly approaching. I got an email today from one of my orchestra buddies asking if my two best friends and I were planning to attend. This is starting to become a source of amusement rather than a reminder of how old I've gotten. I think the idea of a 15 year reunion is silly anyway. What amuses me the most is the flurry of emails asking "are you going? I'm not going if you're not going". As you can see, we're all looking forward to the event!

Today is move in day for the dorms. There is so much activity and excitement. I love this time of year! That only lasts a day, then all the students are in the library asking me dumb questions, like how to read a call number. I quickly get over the rush that comes with the beginning of a new school year, but for today it's all very exciting!

Monday, August 23, 2004

It seems the new cable is doing it's job. I've been entertained enough to spare you my nonsense, but I felt the need to write something since it has been awhile.
I've been staying up too late the past week watching gymnastics. Then I get distracted by all the cool channels. I'm very much enjoying the DIY shows on BBC America. This is my life. Sad, isn't it.
My plan to attend Antioch this fall isn't going so well. I can't get financial aid, and I'm not applying for loans, so it's on hold. I had a discussion with my best friend over the weekend about my educational goals. I'm still going to defer entrance to Antioch for a year, but in the meantime I'm taking up French again to see if I might want to go that direction instead. It's so difficult when you don't know what you want to do when you grow up!

Thursday, August 12, 2004

I don't really have anything to say, but I'm bored and thought I'd post something that doesn't make me sound like a raving lunatic . I'm not sure I can pull that off since I am a raving lunatic, but I can try.
This has been the longest week of my life. I woke up this morning positive it was saturday, but no, it's only thursday and I still have another day to work this week. I love being on an academic schedule. It's nice and quiet in the summer and I can get caught up on projects I've post-poned for 10 months. However, there comes a point about 2 weeks before school starts that it gets so quiet I can't concentrate on anything. I work in a library, you'd think I'd prefer the quiet, but it's disconcerting. Where have all the people gone?
Today I became another mindless drone. I signed up for digital cable with 2 movies channels and a DVR. I'm not paying rent anymore, so I thought I'd see how the other half lives. I don't know why I did this except I really wanted access to BBC America. I will have no time once the semester starts to even look at a television, much less sit down and watch programs. In the meantime, maybe the cable with save all of you from my inane babbling.

Monday, August 09, 2004

Last week was eventful! I had a couple epiphanies and a few more superficial thoughts. It wasn't exactly a life changing week, but definitely one to shake the foundation a bit.
The conference went surprisingly well. People seemed to enjoy themselves and maybe even learned something useful to take back to their jobs. It's strange though, when you put up adults in a college dorm, they all start acting like 19 year olds. We spent each night in the local bar (because there was only one local bar in this town) playing pool. It was at the bar that I had epiphany #1: women are idiots. We try so hard to impress men who couldn't give a fuck, making complete fools of ourselves. This is only exacerbated by alcohol, which is why I don't drink. I'm perfectly capable of making a fool of myself without chemical assistance. I suppose I should give an example, but I'm sure you've all witnessed this idiotic mating ritual. Women are like peacocks, showing our plumage and making alot of noise until a member of the opposite sex notices us. And then when we're noticed, we don't act like anything that resembles our true personalities. Why is that? My advice for men out there: only date a woman who acts the same around you as she does her friends. She's less likely to turn into a completely different person 6 months down the line.
Okay, enough of that crap.
The other major development of the week was an overwhelming desire to start playing music again. There was a time in my life when I had to make a choice, music or responsibility, so I sold my bass and convinced myself I would be content to listen to other people's music. I chose security, a steady paycheck and benefits. But my heart has always been with music. This weekend after hanging out with a few musicians, I decided it was time to return to my one true love (to stick with a theme). I dug out my dad's old guitar, the only item I have of his after his passing, and fixed it. I'll never be the rock star my dad intended me to be, but I don't really care about that anymore. I just want to play.
I said earlier it wasn't a life changing week, but in some ways maybe it was.