My father died two years ago today. It's strange, because today is just another day. I went to the orthodontist to get my ties changed. We're still orienting at the college so there are people everywhere looking lost and confused. I'm not really sure how I should react. It's been a difficult couple of years trying to deal with the unresolved issues, because, if truth be known, I lost my father long before he died. But today it all seems okay. I'm a little less social than usual, and a little more reflective, but life is good. It's strange when someone dies; the world just seems so garish and life becomes pointless and we start to reevaluate our beliefs and dreams. At least I do. I don't deal well with death and it's taken me the past two years to fully comprehend what this means and how it impacts my life. Everything I've done lately, from getting braces, to taking up guitar again, to changing my focus of study is because I don't want to end up like my father: alone, afraid and hopeless.

I think I will go to Temple tomorrow and say kaddish.