For the first time in the four years I've worked for this stupid (Christian) college, I actually get vacation for Christmas! I'm not going anywhere, but it will be nice to not have to work for a week. I think I might just sleep until New Year's!
Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, etc.
Friday, December 24, 2004
Posted by Erin at 1:15 PM
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
The first snow of the season and it's a winter storm. I like snow, but I prefer it when I don't have theater tickets in Cincinnati. I was going to see Jacob Marley's Christmas Carol at Cincinnati Shakespeare Festival starring Giles Davies of The National Trust (formerly Muncie's own Freaks of Nature). With 6 inches on the ground and more coming, I don't think I'm making the trek to Cincy tonite. I was really looking forward to seeing Giles on stage again. *sigh*
I guess it's a good night for reading. I'll be Slipping into Paradise with Jeffrey Moussaieff Masson.
Enjoy the snow!
Posted by Erin at 4:10 PM
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
Thursday, December 16, 2004
"I want some wills, the won'ts can go to hell" - Shrug
I've been down most of the week, then I got the following email from my best friend. It's one of those silly surveys about yourself, except your friends fill it out about you. It made me smile, so I thought I'd share it.
Where did we meet: Middle school, gym or hallway
How long have you known me: Since 7th grade, which makes it more years than I care to count.
What's one of my favorite things to do: Work in a library (hehe). Okay, sing and read crazy fantasy like books and look for gems and write innermost thoughts on your blog and write poetry.
Do you remember one of the first things I said to you: I'm going to take a stab at "Hi. I'm Erin."
What's my favorite type of music: Weirdo bands that no one's heard of, which I too would have liked at one time (before I lost the COOL). Oh, and bands put together by guys you knew at Ball State.
What is the best feature about me: Personality: sense of spirituality and ability to remain friends with someone who isn't good enough for you; Physically: green eyes and red hair, you bitch
Am I shy or outgoing: neither
Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules: both
What's your favorite memory of me: Too many. Going to pick out Heather's on a whim and eating Killer Brownies. Drive from the Def Leppard concert. Not so favorite memory: you driving me back to Yellow Springs while tailgating a semi. Oh, the question didn't ask that. Other memories: staying over at your house most of our junior year and getting candy cigarettes and watching for the Rejects. Singing in the car. Not so favorite memory: railroad signs coming straight at us. Oh, the question didn't ask that. Another favorite memory: when we laugh at that time when we were 33 and I made you mad making cracks about your driving in an email and you didn't talk to me for weeks but I finally called you up and sang Poison's "I Won't Forget You" into the telephone and you totally forgot why you were mad.--I'm still waiting for this!
Any special talents: Singing, writing, librarying, being patient and understanding and forgiving, driving (haha)
I know all of this means nothing to those of you who don't know me, but I wanted some reassurance that when the world is not kind (and trust me, the world has not been kind to me this week) that my friends still love me. Even if my driving leaves something to be desired.
And, Mr. Critic, can we not tell your wife I posted her email?
Posted by Erin at 3:26 PM
Sunday, December 12, 2004
"I'll see what you're made of by what you make of me" - Ani DiFranco
I went to a cheerleading competition Saturday afternoon. I know what you're thinking, "what's a rational adult doing at a cheerleading competition?" Trust me, I asked myself that very question several times throughout the afternoon, but I was there to see two of my student workers who were competing in an open collegiate squad. It was actually pretty cool once I got over the cheerleading aspect of it. Some of those squads were amazing! And of course my boys did a great job. I was very impressed!
Saturday night saw me at another Shrug show. Actually it was a release party for the Dayton After Dark compilation CD. There were 4 bands there with very distinct sounds: Sleepybird,
Days without End, Shrug, and My Latex Brain (the website wasn't working). It was an interesting show. I arrived towards the end of Sleepybird's set, but I was impressed with what little I saw, especially the theremin. I've never seen one played live before. It was f*&king cool! Days without End was pretty good. They had a substitute singer who did a phenomenal job. Then it was Shrug's turn. They were great as usual. And finally My Latex Brain played, and they kicked ass! It was all metal, angry, bass-driven, head-bangin' rock-n-roll. It was the kind of band I would've followed around when I was 18. Now, I'm following around Shrug. Well, for the last three weeks anyway. It's amazing how much I've mellowed out, but at least I still have decent taste in music!
I've added a few new links. My friend resident jason's band is working on their first indie label CD, so I thought I'd post a link to their site. Mona is the band that opened for Shrug the first of the three weekends I went to see them play. They are this year's winner of the Dayton battle of the bands, and they are awesome! Finally, because I'm in need of a little feminist perspective and she helped out today, I added a link to Ani DiFranco. I also added Neil Gaiman's main webpage under authors, although you can get to it from his journal. I just thought Sherman was getting lonely there all by himself. I really need to do something with the authors, but I don't read mainstream kind of stuff and I don't think Rumi needs a website.
This is longer than it needs to be. I'll shut up now.
Posted by Erin at 7:22 PM
Thursday, December 09, 2004
***I should've posted this sooner, but I would like to publicly thank Shrug for posting a link to this blog from their website. I think my exact words were, "that's so cool", which it is. Thank you.
I changed the comments field so you no longer have to have a blogger account to leave a comment, but in the process it deleted the comments that were already there. Sorry guys! I hope this works.
There are more updates on the way.
Posted by Erin at 2:48 PM
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
Sunday, December 05, 2004
Won't you be my neighbor?
I am a very bad dorm supervisor. The boys were having a popcorn fight that escalated to putting shaving cream on each other's doors to a water fight, and all I did was watch and laugh. Now, purely out of guilt for not stopping them, I feel the need to make them clean up the mess. We'll see what happens. They're all playing innocent now. Boys!
Last night I went to see "an evening with Shrug". Shrug has been around Dayton for a long time, but I'm relatively new to the fold. I've known about the band for a couple years, but due to work, life or whatever excuse I could think up at the time, I haven't been to a show until recently. I'll be completely honest, the band has had to grow on me. The first time I saw them play I thought they were decent, but wasn't incredibly impressed. However, after seeing them 2 weekends in a row, I am now in awe! This band is amazing! As a fan of the pop-punk genre where musical talent isn't always required, it's refreshing to see a band with actual ability. Last night they played 3 sets, the first of which was acoustic. I very much enjoyed the acoustic set, although at one point I was feeling covetous of the stand up bass (it's my favorite instrument. After years of playing violin and cello, I tried to get my orchestra teacher to let me play bass, but he didn't believe in girls playing bass. anyway...) The second and third set brought the electric instruments back and the music was played as it was intended. I sat in my corner and watched as the crowd started to get into the show. By the third set, everyone was up dancing and singing along. Even I was doing a little chair dancing. I couldn't help it, the energy was contagious. It's amazing how much difference the crowd makes for a performance!
The boys have all sequestered themselves in their respective rooms pretending to be studying. I should probably go encourage them to clean the popcorn out of the carpet before they get too comfortable.
Posted by Erin at 7:29 PM
Sunday, November 28, 2004
Who said private education is better?
So I just heard a conversation in the hall that went somewhat along these lines:
Where did you go for Thanksgiving?
I just went home.
Wow, that's a long drive!
Not that bad, it's only 8 hours.
You mean Washington, like where the president lives?
That's on the complete other side of the country.
It's not that far from here.
But it takes forever to get to Oregon.
DC is on the east coast.
You're talking about Washington where the president lives?
Yeah, it's between Maryland and Virginia.
Yeah, not Washington State, DC!
I don't understand. Where's Washington DC?
At this point I couldn't help but step out into the hallway and ask incredulously, "are you serious?" Which she was. Completely. So I found a map on the internet, and she said, "wow, I guess you really do learn new stuff at school!" New!? That is new to her?! That the President of the United States lives in Washington DC, on the east coast, not Washington State! That's the private education system at work for you. Think of that before you sign your children up for Christian education.
As the students were leaving the office the one turns to the other and says, "let's keep this our little secret". Secret, yeah right!
Posted by Erin at 7:55 PM
Friday, November 26, 2004
Thanksgiving with the family. Need I say more? I barely had my coat off before my grandmother started with the "when are you getting married" tirade, "I want to go to a wedding before I die". See, my grandmother is 88 and convinced she won't see another Thanksgiving. Granted she had been convinced of this for the past 5 years, but she has decided that this is it, and I need to get married. Only me. She didn't start on my cousins, who, by the way, are all older than me. She almost started on my brother, but only half-heartedly. No, I am the grandchild that needs to get married. This year. To a complete stranger if that's what it takes. She offered to set me up with her mailman, and a very nice cab driver who told her he wanted to meet a nice redheaded woman. Thank goodness she lives in KY, or I might find strange men at my doorstep. So I need to find myself a nice boy (it used to be a nice Jewish boy, but she is so desperate for me to get married she doesn't care about the Jewish part anymore) and get married within the next 6 months or so. No problem.
Other than that, Thanksgiving was great. My brother drove home from WY, so it made for a very special holiday. We haven't seen him in 2 years. The family is even planning a trip to visit him next June. It will be interesting to see how many of them follow through.
It's late. Must sleep.
Posted by Erin at 1:24 AM
Saturday, November 20, 2004
I don't know if I can put into words what I'm thinking or feeling right now. Have you ever had the experience of being in a moment and suddenly realizing who you are? Actually, not realizing, remembering. I was that person once, but I've strayed so far from that path I had forgotten how much I liked her, and how much I miss her. How can I get that person back? I have to reevaluate my life and make some decisions about where to go from here. I would have to go back to the beginning and start over if I am to become that person again. I don't know if I have the guts. It's so much easier to be the responsible adult and sacrifice myself to the grind than to try to do what I know I have always wanted to do.
I'm about the same age now that my dad was when he had to make the same decision. The difference is, I don't have a family to take care of. Not that it bothered him much, he left anyway. Spent 10 years traveling the country with just his motorcycle and his guitar, playing covers in any dive that would give him a cut. It amazes me sometimes how much I am like a man I never really knew, but I am him. My family says I'm a clone of my mom, and if you see the two of us together it is a little frightening how much we look alike, but I've always acted more like my dad. My brother got the talent and I got the desire to make a living out of it. It hardly seems fair, but that is life, as they say.
When I started college as a music major, my mother was horrified. When she learned all that went into the music engineering degree, she was a little relieved by the calculus and physics requirements. She thought that I would have some hope of finding a job when the music thing bottomed out on me. Supportive, huh? But she sent me a card later in the year with some joke about marrying a rock star, and under it she wrote "don't just marry a rock star, be one". Sometimes I think I should've taken that advice. Of course, how many people go to college to be rock stars? It's been so long since I've taken that idea seriously. I can't play anymore. I haven't written a song in years. How can I start over now? But tonite, sitting around my apartment, listening to one of my students playing my guitar and singing along, I realized, this is who I am. I will never be happy pretending to be a librarian, or whatever other profession I try to throw myself into. Music is the only thing that gets to me. I don't have a passion for helping people find books or research articles. But turn on the radio and I'm completely lost to the world. Nothing else exists except that song.
As Oprah says, find your passion and live it. Maybe this time I will take the advice.
Posted by Erin at 11:58 PM
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
It's the cities, stupid
Yes, more politics, but this is interesting. I don't agree with everything in the article. Being from the heartland and a person of faith (that sounds so weird when applied to me), I don't see those things as being mutually exclusive to being educated, reasonable, realistic and liberal. He has a good point, however. I've always known that living in an urban setting was better than then country, but I never stopped to think about the political advantages. And I must say, I'm very happy to see that Jackson WY voted for Kerry. Jackson, for those of you who don't know, is the home of our "glowering" VP (and my brother) and one of the most beautiful places in the US.
Posted by Erin at 9:35 AM
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
Sunday, October 31, 2004
I thought I'd post something new since it's been almost a week, but I got nothing. I'm a bit on the anti-social side right now, so I'm not feeling very communicative. If I don't post for awhile, that's why.
Posted by Erin at 8:39 PM
Monday, October 25, 2004
I watched Bill Maher last night. Sometimes the man annoys me to no end. He has a tendency to badger his guests until they say what he wants them to say, but last night was a pretty good program. He had Robert F. Kennedy Jr. on to talk about his new book and the environment. For those of you who don’t know, RFK Jr. is an environmental crusader, and I get regular email from him to sign petitions or email my congressmen about the latest environmental attack by our oil drilling administration. Bill reported that the environment is not an issue in this election, and asked Robert whose fault that is-the republicans, the democrats, or the media. The answer is the media. He said that in 1988, Reagan abolished the fairness act that regulated how the media reported the news. Meaning that before 1988, the media had a responsibility to report what the American people needed to know to be an informed citizenry. After 1988, as RFK Jr. put it, the media became a for-profit industry only reporting on what appealed to our reptilian brains - violence, sex, fear-mongering and the local weather. So basically, we only get to know the information that best appeals to the most people. That thought makes me appreciate people like Bill Maher (attitude and all), and Jon Stewart all the more. I don’t bother with the news anymore (unless it’s Anderson Cooper, but then I’m not really watching for the news). I find the farcical Daily Show to be more informative than the 6:00 news. But I’m getting off the subject here. I do wonder, though, why the environment has not received more attention. This has been the worst environmental president in the history of the US. You’d think Kerry and Edwards would try to capitalize on that.
After his interview with RFK Jr., Bill had his guests talking about the election and of course the subject of national security came up. The best quote of the night came when Bill was attacking the people who question Kerry’s ability to defend the US. Bradley Whitford from the West Wing said, “how many times do you have to be shot in the ass before you’re more rough and tumble than a cheerleader from Andover?” That pretty much sums it up!
Posted by Erin at 7:15 PM
Monday, October 18, 2004
I have been intending to write about my 15-year high school reunion for a while. It was two weeks ago, and I still can’t find the words to describe the experience. It’s so bizarre to walk into a room full of people you grew up with and not recognize most of them. And then to see people your own age and have them be so old! It was surreal. But seeing those people again brought back so many memories from childhood, although not necessarily high school. I keep thinking of the house I grew up in, the acres of woods in my back yard, the cornfield at the end of the street and the man-made pond across the street. We were explorers in the woods, tracked deer through the cornfields and created our own Paradise Island on a little inlet of the pond. We spent so much time in the trees that we actually learned to navigate our way around the little island without ever touching the ground. We would play this game in the winter after the pond froze to see who could get the closest to the hotspring without falling in, which meant inevitably some one would fall in. I spent several winters on that frozen pond dreaming of becoming the next Dorothy Hamill. I used to complain about living in a tiny little town, but you can’t do those things in the suburbs.
I admit high school was pretty boring. The social highlight was going to Pizza Hut after the football game. Then, when we were driving, the weekends were spent cruising up and down Main Street listening to hair bands. When I think of high school, I think of orchestra, choir and theater. I think of HeadBangers Ball after school and spending the night at my best friends house, cursing all her siblings come Sunday morning when they’re all up and loud and I’m still trying to sleep. The people at that reunion were not in any of those memories. They were cheerleaders and wannabes. They were the people who, for the most part, never left small town, oh. They were the people who called us freaks in high school because we didn’t subscribe to their idea of “normal”. Well, if normal means you become miserable and get old before your time, then I’ll stay abnormal, thank you very much. We are all way to young to be that old!
Posted by Erin at 7:45 PM
Thursday, October 14, 2004
I know nobody cares, but I have to share this anyway. If anyone out there is schooled in dream interpretation, please tell me what this means.
Posted by Erin at 11:58 AM
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
Monday, October 11, 2004
The college began construction on a new building earlier this summer. Sometime last week, while preparing the ground to lay new wire, the construction guys cut the cable to the entire dorm, including my apartment. I did not notice this until Friday, since I spent most of the week happily inside a book (American Gods by Neil Gaiman for those of you keeping track). However, when I turned my television on Friday night, I discovered the lack of BBC America. This made me so sad that I decided to watch Amelie instead, for some reason thinking that watching a French movie was the same thing as studying for the French test I bombed Saturday morning. Anyway, through the course of this I forgot about the Presidential debates. It sounds like I missed an interesting evening. Although, I'm not good at watching debates. I usually get so frustrated with the spinning that I end up changing the channel and this debate sounded painful, what with the ranting crazy man and all. Probably just as well I missed it. I can get all the info I need in print without having to hear raised voices. I'm very pleased to note that all political conversation has ceased at work. They have apparently reached an unspoken understanding that they all disagree and therefore do not need to discuss the topic any further.
I'm am writing this for the very first time from my own apartment. I think I like having a computer at home. It alleviates a lot of guilt. No more am I breaking into my office after hours to play online. I'm not abusing company equipment for personal entertainment. Nope, now I can go anywhere I want online without a little eye popping up to remind me I'm using the company's internet. Yes, this is a good thing.
Posted by Erin at 9:15 PM
Friday, October 01, 2004
The debates have started, and I’m not talking about the candidates. Everywhere I go today, people are talking politics. I’m staying out of it this time. I’ve sequestered myself in my office to avoid being drawn into the conversation, because it’s not really conversation. It’s become, “I’m right, you’re wrong and I’m going to keep shouting at you until you agree with me”. These interactions have all the fervor of religious conviction. It’s rather frightening, actually. When did we deify government? Who says Rome is dead? We’re not electing a president; we’re crowning Caesar to go conquer the barbarians. No, the conversation has become too charged for me. I know which candidate I’m voting for. I have my reasons for voting this way, and if someone is not willing to rationally discuss their point of view, then I don’t want any part of it.
Posted by Erin at 9:44 AM
Monday, September 27, 2004
I had intended to stay in hiding until I could behave like a rational and intelligent human being again, but realized over the weekend that if I were to wait for that I might as well take the whole thing down now and call it a day. No, instead I am going to continue with my uninformed and overly emotional ranting.
Recently, the Presbyterian Church issued an overture encouraging the peaceful resolution of the problems in the Middle East. We were informed of this overture on Yom Kippur, and after 20+ hours of fasting, it’s easy to misinterpret this document, and if one is already prone to over-reacting (me, reactionary?), it’s even easier to jump into the fray with both guns blazing. But I did something unprecedented today. I actually went looking for more information before forming an opinion. Read the Overture here, and the addendum here. Upon second reading, it doesn’t state Israel is solely to blame, although it’s not kind to Israel, either.
Part of the reason Jews, at least Jews in academia who pay attention to these things, are concerned about this is because of the rising tide of anti-Semitism in western Europe and the fear it will find a home here in the states. So, I went to the religion instructor and asked if he felt there was a legitimate threat. Having studied in Germany for his degree in theology, he has some foundation upon which to speak. He said it is hard to put into words that amount of anti-Semitism that still exists in Germany and France, but I have no problem believing it. Anti-Semitism is a part of the cultural make-up in Western Europe and even the atrocities of WWII cannot change a worldview that is so pervasive and ingrained as anti-Semitism in Europe. That’s like saying the Civil Rights movement in the 60’s eliminated racism. But, what about here? He believes it could be a step towards a display of anti-Semitism in the states, but not necessarily the cause. I then went to my Presbyterian friend, who tried to defend her church by saying that they do a lot of mission work in Palestine and feel that something needs to be done, especially for Palestinian Christians who see the hate from both sides. Okay, I get this.
I get impatient with Jews who believe I have to whole-heartedly support Israel, just because it is Israel. It’s a democratic state, and her citizens have the right to agree or disagree with their government just as we do. I don’t agree with Sharon’s policies. I don’t agree with building a security fence or military attacks in response to a single suicide bomber. And I most certainly don’t agree with the terrorist activities of the Palestinians. But it’s easy for me to say in my relative safety that I disagree with their tactics. How would I feel if I woke up everyday wondering if the suicide bomber will visit me today, or if they will blow up my child’s school bus, or if the tanks are going to roll into the settlement because my idiot neighbor decided to kill himself while trying to annihilate a couple Israelis? I appreciate the fact that the Presbyterian Church has some knowledge base for this overture, but is it really their place to enter into this political struggle? Is it even fair to call it political? It’s surpassed politics and even religion.
I think I’m going to spend some time over the next few months educating myself more on this subject, and I would really appreciate some feedback from those of you more knowledgeable than I.
Posted by Erin at 9:07 PM
Friday, September 24, 2004
Thought I'd peak my head above ground long enough to tell you about the midpoint music festival, which will only do you any good if you're in the Cincinnati area this weekend. While you're there, be sure to check out Shrug.
Also, tomorrow starts banned books week. Check out the list and find yourself a good book to read.
That's it. Back to my hiding place.
Posted by Erin at 1:09 PM
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
I've added a new link: late reviews and latest obsessions. It's a blog of very outdated reviews of audiobooks, but it's not as dry as it sounds. Trust me. It's written by the husband of my best friend, who is also a friend in his own right. With his scathing wit and a command of the english language I can never hope to achieve, his blog is as entertaining as it is educational.
Posted by Erin at 3:18 PM
Monday, September 13, 2004
I spent the entire weekend at the Ohio Renaissance Festival. Not that I wanted to spend the entire weekend at RenFest, but I didn't have a choice.
Saturday I went to a wedding. I have always made fun of people who got married at RenFest, and will probably continue to do so, but it was actually a beautiful wedding. A bit too theatrical for my tastes, but beautiful nonetheless. The groom was escorted by a celtic drummer. The bride was escorted by bagpipes and she entered the church under a sword salute. The minister, who is the husband of a friend, quoted Princess Bride throughout the ceremony, but it was lost on most people. It was fun to see all the people from work who are normally too uptight for these kinds of activities at the festival. Some even dressed in costume! The reception was interesting. How many people can say they ate a turkey leg at a wedding reception? Afterwards, me and the girls walked around, looked in the shops and got henna tattoos. All in all, a decent day.
Sunday, my former roommate decided she wanted to go to RenFest for her birthday. Yippee. So, I went back. We saw some shows, which is always fun. I love the Swordsmen. I never get tired of it, although I could quote it verbatim by now (same is true of Princess Bride, but I watch it anyway!). By the second day, the festival lost some of it's allure. I just wanted to be where the air conditioning was. Bright, sunny, hot days and red hair aren't usually a good combination. I have the sunburn to prove it!
That was my weekend, as if you wanted to know.
Posted by Erin at 7:59 PM
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
While walking through the dorms last night to get to my apartment, I happened to notice one of the girls had written on her message board "I love being belligerent".
Let the roommate wars begin!
Posted by Erin at 8:14 AM
Friday, September 03, 2004
Wednesday, September 01, 2004
I'm going to experiment a little. I added the "all text copyrighted 2004" line in my header to leave me free to post my attempts at poetry or prose. I don't know if I'll actually subject you to that, but I wanted to know the opportunity was there in case I really felt the need. But since I mentioned it, maybe I should post one poem tonite. So, here goes:
Posted by Erin at 9:39 PM
Tuesday, August 31, 2004
One of the advantages of working and living in the same place is that I can go home and take a nap at lunch. I don't know why I couldn't sleep last night, but at 2 a.m. I decided it wasn't worth even trying to sleep anymore and started cleaning.
It has been a fairly hectic week here. School started yesterday. Everyone has been back in the dorms for almost a week now, so I'm getting used to all the people. Last thursday, one of the students decided to set some votive candles on a piece of paper on top of a wooden bookshelf, light them, then leave. The fire department wasn't very happy, neither were the students, faculty and staff who were evacuated from the building.
Saturday night the dorm went bowling. It was fun, but I think my highest score was a 75. Object lesson #1 why I should not be allowed out in public: I thought it would be a good idea to play air guitar to Welcome to the Jungle in the middle of the lane since I was making a fool of myself with my bowling skills anyway.
And to prove how big a nerd I am: I was watching the Video Music Awards with some students in the lounge Sunday night. As the show starts with J.Lo sashaying on stage, the students become quiet with anticipation, but I blurt out "hey! is that a Chihuly?", referring to the huge glass sculpture in the middle of the stage. Yeah. I think I 'm getting to old for the VMA's!
Again, check out kaddish and you can't blow up a social relationship. I didn't do them justice earlier. They are both well worth your time.
Posted by Erin at 3:56 PM
I was up at 2 a.m. cleaning my apartment.
Needless to say, this won't be an interesting or particularly coherent post, but I felt the need to mention the two new links I added. Kaddish is a blog a stumbled I across when looking for a website to link to my last post. She is a fellow Jew and I believe a fellow redhead, so I took to her site immediately! It's also a great contrast to all the male dominated blogs I'm linked to. The other new blog is You Can't Blow Up a Social Relationship. This has become a staple for me. I check it regularly, usually in the middle of the afternoon when I've done as much work as I'm willing to do for one day and need to be entertained. It's a fun and interesting blog, so check it out and let him know what you think!
Posted by Erin at 9:14 AM
Thursday, August 26, 2004
My father died two years ago today. It's strange, because today is just another day. I went to the orthodontist to get my ties changed. We're still orienting at the college so there are people everywhere looking lost and confused. I'm not really sure how I should react. It's been a difficult couple of years trying to deal with the unresolved issues, because, if truth be known, I lost my father long before he died. But today it all seems okay. I'm a little less social than usual, and a little more reflective, but life is good. It's strange when someone dies; the world just seems so garish and life becomes pointless and we start to reevaluate our beliefs and dreams. At least I do. I don't deal well with death and it's taken me the past two years to fully comprehend what this means and how it impacts my life. Everything I've done lately, from getting braces, to taking up guitar again, to changing my focus of study is because I don't want to end up like my father: alone, afraid and hopeless.
I think I will go to Temple tomorrow and say kaddish.
Posted by Erin at 12:42 PM
Wednesday, August 25, 2004
My 15 year high school is quickly approaching. I got an email today from one of my orchestra buddies asking if my two best friends and I were planning to attend. This is starting to become a source of amusement rather than a reminder of how old I've gotten. I think the idea of a 15 year reunion is silly anyway. What amuses me the most is the flurry of emails asking "are you going? I'm not going if you're not going". As you can see, we're all looking forward to the event!
Today is move in day for the dorms. There is so much activity and excitement. I love this time of year! That only lasts a day, then all the students are in the library asking me dumb questions, like how to read a call number. I quickly get over the rush that comes with the beginning of a new school year, but for today it's all very exciting!
Posted by Erin at 3:59 PM
Monday, August 23, 2004
It seems the new cable is doing it's job. I've been entertained enough to spare you my nonsense, but I felt the need to write something since it has been awhile.
I've been staying up too late the past week watching gymnastics. Then I get distracted by all the cool channels. I'm very much enjoying the DIY shows on BBC America. This is my life. Sad, isn't it.
My plan to attend Antioch this fall isn't going so well. I can't get financial aid, and I'm not applying for loans, so it's on hold. I had a discussion with my best friend over the weekend about my educational goals. I'm still going to defer entrance to Antioch for a year, but in the meantime I'm taking up French again to see if I might want to go that direction instead. It's so difficult when you don't know what you want to do when you grow up!
Posted by Erin at 4:27 PM
Thursday, August 12, 2004
I don't really have anything to say, but I'm bored and thought I'd post something that doesn't make me sound like a raving lunatic . I'm not sure I can pull that off since I am a raving lunatic, but I can try.
This has been the longest week of my life. I woke up this morning positive it was saturday, but no, it's only thursday and I still have another day to work this week. I love being on an academic schedule. It's nice and quiet in the summer and I can get caught up on projects I've post-poned for 10 months. However, there comes a point about 2 weeks before school starts that it gets so quiet I can't concentrate on anything. I work in a library, you'd think I'd prefer the quiet, but it's disconcerting. Where have all the people gone?
Today I became another mindless drone. I signed up for digital cable with 2 movies channels and a DVR. I'm not paying rent anymore, so I thought I'd see how the other half lives. I don't know why I did this except I really wanted access to BBC America. I will have no time once the semester starts to even look at a television, much less sit down and watch programs. In the meantime, maybe the cable with save all of you from my inane babbling.
Posted by Erin at 4:31 PM
Monday, August 09, 2004
Last week was eventful! I had a couple epiphanies and a few more superficial thoughts. It wasn't exactly a life changing week, but definitely one to shake the foundation a bit.
The conference went surprisingly well. People seemed to enjoy themselves and maybe even learned something useful to take back to their jobs. It's strange though, when you put up adults in a college dorm, they all start acting like 19 year olds. We spent each night in the local bar (because there was only one local bar in this town) playing pool. It was at the bar that I had epiphany #1: women are idiots. We try so hard to impress men who couldn't give a fuck, making complete fools of ourselves. This is only exacerbated by alcohol, which is why I don't drink. I'm perfectly capable of making a fool of myself without chemical assistance. I suppose I should give an example, but I'm sure you've all witnessed this idiotic mating ritual. Women are like peacocks, showing our plumage and making alot of noise until a member of the opposite sex notices us. And then when we're noticed, we don't act like anything that resembles our true personalities. Why is that? My advice for men out there: only date a woman who acts the same around you as she does her friends. She's less likely to turn into a completely different person 6 months down the line.
Okay, enough of that crap.
The other major development of the week was an overwhelming desire to start playing music again. There was a time in my life when I had to make a choice, music or responsibility, so I sold my bass and convinced myself I would be content to listen to other people's music. I chose security, a steady paycheck and benefits. But my heart has always been with music. This weekend after hanging out with a few musicians, I decided it was time to return to my one true love (to stick with a theme). I dug out my dad's old guitar, the only item I have of his after his passing, and fixed it. I'll never be the rock star my dad intended me to be, but I don't really care about that anymore. I just want to play.
I said earlier it wasn't a life changing week, but in some ways maybe it was.
Posted by Erin at 8:28 PM
Saturday, July 31, 2004
I'm getting ready to head out of town for a conference. It's a fun and exciting library conference. I'm sure you're all jealous! I'm just wasting time now. I needed to get online to balance my check book, so I broke into my office. Well, I guess it's not breaking and entering if I have a key. One of the many advantages to working and living in the same building. Don't get me wrong, there are many disadvantages as well, but it's been a decent experience so far. As I was saying, I'm here and need to waste some time, so I thought I would bore my 3 readers with my inane babbling.
Before I get to make my trek out of town, I'm visiting the fair village of Yellow Springs this evening. Yellow Springs is actually very cool place. It's home of Antioch College, which is not nearly as wild and crazy as it used to be, but still a haven for the socially challenged (yes, I will be attending weekend college there in the fall to continue my endless quest for a college degree). It's also a town devoid of any chain. There are no chain restaurants, not even a McDonalds. No department store, not even a chain grocery store. An entire town filled with mom and pop shops that carry strange and exotic and sometimes necessary items. It reminds me of Broadripple outside Indianapolis, but less urban. And the trip there from Dayton, although a mere 45 mins., feels like a day trip since it takes me completely out of my element. There are also great hiking trails, campgrounds and fishing holes for the outdoor type.
Well, my time is up. I will continue to chronicle my less than note-worthy escapades next week, hopefully including a review of the Curiouso tour!
Posted by Erin at 4:13 PM
Tuesday, July 27, 2004
The Tour de France is over. Lance won his sixth. Harry is safe from Voldemort until I read book 5 over Christmas break. I don't know what to do with myself now. I had gotten used to watching tour highlights every night after work. I'm going to miss Bob Roll.
I have plenty to keep me occupied until school resumes, however. Rabbi suggested several books for me to read. Right now I'm working on One God Clapping about a Zen Buddhist turned Conservative Rabbi. It's been an educational read for me, but will probably hold no interest to anyone not of the Jewish Buddhist persuation. Next I'll be reading Let the Earth Teach You Torah, from what I've read it looks like it teaches the Bible from a Shamanistic perspective and should be interesting. After that will be Stalking Elijah, which is by the same author who wrote Jew in the Lotus, so it's another JewBu book. And finally a book called Ordinary Magic. I don't know much about it, but I'm looking forward to reading it, especially since Rabbi says the book scares him alittle. That should last me a couple weeks. There you have it, my exciting reading line-up. I'm sure you wanted to know.
Posted by Erin at 11:41 AM
Wednesday, July 14, 2004
Aujourd'hui nous commémorons la prise de la Bastille avec les mots français nous utilisons en anglais.
Sorry, wrong language!
Today we celebrate Bastille Day with French words commonly used in English:
restaurant, ballet, crayon, espionage, etiquette, menu, omelette, sachet, souvenir, tranquil, umpire...
I do a word of the day (which has become the word of the week now that school is out) for the students. It started as a joke with one of my student employees after I accused him of talking in double entendres and he didn't know what I was saying. So everyday he would bug me for a new word of the day. I thought today I would share with the blog to educate all those freedom fries people that alot more than our food names will have to change to eliminate French from our language.
Posted by Erin at 11:25 AM
Tuesday, July 13, 2004
I've become a bit nihilistic lately. I don't really know what caused it. I'm normally oblivious to the philosophical, or at least ignorant enough not to give it much thought. But these days I seem to be thinking of nothing else but the meaning of life and finding no answers. Probably why the most challenging thing I can do with my mind is watch the Tour de France, I'm wasting all this mental energy trying to answer impossible questions. It's disturbing to me. I am supposed to talk to the Rabbi tomorrow for the spirituality class I've been taking, so maybe I'll take this up with him. The problem is Jews tend not to give answers. The official line is we don't know the answers so why pretend. As much as I appreciate the realistic attitude, it's not very comforting. It's too bad I'm such a bloody awful poet (thanks Spike), because this is good material in the proper hands.
Posted by Erin at 6:15 PM
Monday, July 12, 2004
Every year for the fourth, we have a local festival that includes musical entertainment before the fireworks display. For the past several years the same oldies cover band has played and they are really not very good, but this year they changed their lineup. Gone is the drummer, to be replaced by a drum machine (which was badly programmed) and the guitarist was replaced by a 14 year old kid who would give Jimi Hendrix a run for his money. He was phenomenal! The band still sucked per usual, but this kid made it worth watching. We were taking bets on how long he would stay with this band before moving on to a real band. This kid has real potential. It's kind of cool to see someone like that during his formative years.
Posted by Erin at 11:40 AM
Wednesday, July 07, 2004
I have braces. I've had them now for a week. Last week was awful, the pain, the discomfort! I'm getting used to them, though. It's bad enough I already look 12, now people will believe I'm still a kid when they see the braces. It's not all bad, I guess. I could be one of those kids from 90210, playing a teen in my 30's.
I purchased several new CD's in the past couple weeks. I got the Jet CD which is okay, but it is just a regurgitation of other people's music. They have a very 70's feel, Rolling Stones, Deep Purple and one song that sounds like a Grateful Dead cover, but it's not. I also bought the newest Blink 182 disc. As much as this will make me sound like a poseur, I really like it. It's still a punk-pop album, but it's well orchestrated. Then there is the classic Weezer CD that I should've bought a decade ago. I also bought the new Sarah McLaughlin and Scarlet's Walk by Tori Amos, but I haven't listened to those yet. I've been thinking about adding some 60's music to my collection. I've been irrationally opposed to buying music that was made before I was born, but I'm thinking it's time to lift that ban. I want to add some Beatles, Janis Joplin, and Simon & Garfunkel for starters.
I had planned to do alot of reading once school was done for the summer, but I haven't managed to read anything more intellectual than the Harry Potter series. I'm supposed to be reading books on Judaism for the class I'm taking at Temple, but I can't bring myself to do it any more than I can bring myself to read an actual literary work. Maybe once I've finished the series, I'll be in a reading sort of mood. Right now, it's Harry and Lance (Tour de France). I don't have the brain power for much else.
Posted by Erin at 9:09 AM
Monday, June 28, 2004
I went to a Hindu Temple on Sun. It was a very interesting experience. They cleaned the idol of a god who's name I can't pronounce, but was told it was the same as Vishnu just under a different name (not an avatar, more an alias, of sorts). Being of a religion that frowns on idol worship, this was a whole new world for me, (I'm not wholly unfamiliar with idols. Any real Jew would be aghast if they saw my Buddha shrine, but I don't actually worship the Buddhas.) but I am completely fascinated by Hinduism. The basic concept of the religion is the same as any western tradition, they just have more deities to teach the same moral lessons. It's very cultural. The Dalai Lama says one should always practice the religion of their culture, a statement I didn't fully comprehend until now. I don't think a westerner could ever truly understand Hinduism. Anyway, the whole service was in Sanskrit. It was cool to listen to, but made it impossible to actually understand what was happening. If you've never seen this service, it is worth checking out. They pour water over the idol, followed by milk, buttermilk, yogurt, honey and orange juice. Then they clean all that off, block the idol from view and dress it. It's a bit of a shock for the more fundamentalist practitioner out there, but a cool experience for the open minded!
Posted by Erin at 10:18 AM
Wednesday, June 23, 2004
In case you've been living under a rock, this is an election year. If you're not aware, there is a new coalition called November 2 whose mission is to remind everyone to vote. It's non-partisan, which is the only reason I mention it here (I'm already sick of campaign season and it's not even in full swing yet). You can read about it on AlterNet. Whether we like the choices or not, we have to make a decision about the future of our country on Nov. 2, so please vote!
Posted by Erin at 1:56 PM
Tuesday, June 22, 2004
Thursday, June 17, 2004
I think I'm officially open for business. Before yesterday I had no experience with html, so I had fun learning how to post links. I will add more links as this blog continues to unfold, but so far I am happy with what I've done.
This past month has been such a whirlwind. The semester from hell finally came to an end. I went to the Slayage Conference on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which was one of the best experiences of my academic life. I moved into the dorms as a supervisor (so at least I have a sweet apartment: 2 bed/2 bath, rent-free, all utilities included). Now that the whirlwind seems to be slowing down, I finally feel like I have time to breathe again. Maybe I'll even find time to read a book.
Posted by Erin at 2:21 PM
Wednesday, June 16, 2004
Well, I finally got around to doing something with this blog. I like it better than myspace. I have more freedom to customize. I still have to question my motivation in doing this since I know it doesn't actually get read, but it keeps me entertained. With any luck, it will keep the occasional reader entertained as well.
Posted by Erin at 5:45 PM