I've become a bit nihilistic lately. I don't really know what caused it. I'm normally oblivious to the philosophical, or at least ignorant enough not to give it much thought. But these days I seem to be thinking of nothing else but the meaning of life and finding no answers. Probably why the most challenging thing I can do with my mind is watch the Tour de France, I'm wasting all this mental energy trying to answer impossible questions. It's disturbing to me. I am supposed to talk to the Rabbi tomorrow for the spirituality class I've been taking, so maybe I'll take this up with him. The problem is Jews tend not to give answers. The official line is we don't know the answers so why pretend. As much as I appreciate the realistic attitude, it's not very comforting. It's too bad I'm such a bloody awful poet (thanks Spike), because this is good material in the proper hands.