And so it begins... Again.

It's the first day of the semester. The students are all back and the drama has started. You know, this experience in the hands of a competent writer would be amazing. Life just isn't this interesting or dramatic after college. Well, I guess for some people it is, but they just get scary after awhile. Between living in a college dorm in my 30's and the 2 years I spent working in a prison, I have some amazing ideas for stories, but I'm not able to write them. When I worked at the prison, I would burn certain events and observations into my memory thinking someday I will have to write about this. I still remember with perfect clarity walking through the cafeteria at lunchtime watching the guys file through, the smell, the sounds, the guards. If I could conjure the elements of fear, oppression, rage and resignation with words, or the lingering smell of stale cigarette smoke that just clung to the walls, or experience of walking through the crash gates every morning and the anxiety caused by hearing them close behind you knowing you're spending the next 8 hous behind bars, but I don't know that I could ever convincingly put that experience into words. It's just too emotionally charged, and I can't describe emotion. Hell, most of the time I don't recognize an emotion when I feel it, so how am I supposed to write about it?
Sometimes I think there isn't much difference between college students and inmates. In both environments there is an element of "I don't give a fuck". In a prison setting, there is the false security of thinking you're the one in charge -- 2000 inmates, 200 employees working at any given time, less overnight. We're only in control because they let us. It's the same concept in a college dorm. As much as we adults like to believe that we're in control, the students only follow the rules because they choose to. And when you have a handful of students, like we have this year, who choose not to, well... then all hell breaks loose. And when it's a small dorm where the girls outnumber the boys 4 to 1, it just makes the world that much more interesting. It doesn't help that most of these boys are little cuties. And these are the most aggresive girls I've ever seen. It's pretty sad when the guys have to hide because they are afraid of the girls, but it's actually gotten to that point. It's an interesting dynamic. Maybe someday I'll find a way to write about it.