My year in review:
This post has been bubbling in my brain for weeks. I really did intend to write it on my one year anniversary, but this crazy Ohio weather has had me feeling less than spectacular. Let's see if I can remember what I wanted to say.
First, I have no regrets! Regardless of what people might think of bariatric surgery, I am happy I did this. Although I'm not where I want to be yet, I feel infinitely better than I did just a mere year ago. I can move. I can walk. I can breathe while I'm moving and walking! I can do yoga and kickboxing (which I was supposed to begin tonight, but now have to work late). Even my voice lessons have gotten easier because I can breathe so much better. I have dropped 7 pant sizes, gone from a 7 1/2 WW shoe to a 7 M (one of my motivators for the surgery was my big fat feet. Not only because I couldn't find shoes wide enough, but also because I couldn't reach them!). Shopping is starting to get fun! Now if only I had the pocketbook to keep up with the wardrobe changes! From a physical standpoint this has been one of the best decisions I have ever made.
Now, from an emotional standpoint, it's not so easy. When researching the surgery, I read all about the emotional fallout. People (like me) who are emotional eaters have to find new ways to deal with their emotions. I didn't really have a problem until I reached the 100 lb mark. For months, I've been trying to figure out what was happening. Last week, I had an epiphany. I have been overweight since high school. I've always been the fat one. So much so, that it started to define who I was. After losing weight, that definition had to change, but to what? I have spent so much of my life thinking of myself in terms of my weight that I never stopped to think of any of my other qualities. I am now at a place where I need to redefine myself in a positive way, which is terribly difficult for someone who has focused on the negative for such a long time.
There I go being depressing again...Like I said, I have no regrets! I am a stronger person both physically and emotionally (despite the recent insight). And I'm really looking forward to reaching goal!
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