another question

How can a musician be a bad dancer?  There was a horn player in the band this weekend who was one of the most awkward dancers I've ever seen!  

question

Why do some gay men feel the urge to make out with women when they're drunk?  Conversely, why do drunk women hit on openly gay men when they're drunk.  Do different rules apply to sexual orientation when alcohol is involved?  Okay, so I asked more than one question.

update

I'm back at the drive-in after a 6 month hiatus.  I've stepped back into it like I've never been away. Not that it's really all that challenging, but still...

Tonight we're showing Monsters vs. Aliens.  Since I'll hear more than I'll see, I won't be able to give any kind of review.  

Okay, not enlightening, but it's a post.  I get to take my break now. 

lookee here, a blog!  my blog, you say?  I have a blog?  I don't remember.  hmm...  maybe I should write something.

I'm getting a passport for my birthday.  Before the harassment starts, yes this is my first passport.  Lame, I know, but better late than never.  There are no specific travel plans in the works (although we're making something up for the application), but I think the first trip will be to the British Isles.  Mother doesn't want to go any place she doesn't speak the language.  Baby steps.  Last year, she didn't want to leave the continent.  Retirement is doing wonders for her wanderlust! 

Now that I know I'll have a passport, I'm trying to figure out how to attend a two week workshop in Lithuania.  I've had more than one person tell me that I don't want to travel to a former Soviet Bloc country, but I really want to attend this workshop!  My attempts to find a sponsor on facebook have failed miserably, so since the workshop would fit into my Jewish Studies minor, I'm going to look into educational funding.  I don't really expect to go, but planning for it has been a nice diversion from life.

That's all for now. 

Day 1

I bought a new journal over the weekend.  Anyone want to place bets on how long I'll actually write in it before I forget or give up or both?  

The short story hasn't gotten past the second sentence.  Mostly because I don't have time for frivolous pursuits such as writing.  I'm immersed in Polybius, Plutarch and Livy.  Somewhere in there I find time for Spanish as well.  Oh, and my job.  

Speaking of the job, the layoff notices go out this week.  Keep your fingers crossed that neither I nor any of my colleagues and friends receive a letter.

the bitch

I finally had enough and asked my roommate to move out last night. The final straw was my winged Nike sitting on my dining room table with a missing wing. Actually the final straw was her referring to my winged Nike as an angel. I've decided that I can't handle living with a 20 year old. I think even when the 20 year old is my own flesh and blood I won't want to live with her/him. I feel like a bitch, but this is necessary for my sanity.

experiment #3

I sometimes forget

when the moon is new

that the light will return

but it is only in 

the darkeness that

we can see the truths

we hide from ourselves

experiment #2

Golden sparrows on the green grass

ornaments on the lawn

I step outside for a better look

but all the sparrows are gone

note to a non-valentine

I am learning to be content with the friendship we share, but that won't keep me from hoping for more.

advice

E: "Can you explain men to me?

B: "Of course.  I know all"

E: "Please share your knowledge, master"

B: "The secret of men is simple:  women are retarded"

E: "Gee, thanks.  That was helpful"

what I would like to say

"You're absolutely insane, which is fine.  It works for you.  But I'm still trying to figure out how to keep up."

experiment #1

There is no fear 

in your touch

no excitement either

I feel only comfort

when you are near me

I'm feeling the urge to scrap this blog and start over.  Must resist.  Maybe if I start writing something worthwhile, I won't feel the need to delete everything.

I do not understand

Why are guys not interested in girls who show interest in them?  It's only when I decided that he's not worth my time that he wants to talk to me.  I don't get it at all!

here it is

My year in review:

This post has been bubbling in my brain for weeks.  I really did intend to write it on my one year anniversary, but this crazy Ohio weather has had me feeling less than spectacular.  Let's see if I can remember what I wanted to say.

First, I have no regrets!  Regardless of what people might think of bariatric surgery, I am happy I did this.  Although I'm not where I want to be yet, I feel infinitely better than I did just a mere year ago.  I can move.  I can walk.  I can breathe while I'm moving and walking!  I can do yoga and kickboxing (which I was supposed to begin tonight, but now have to work late).  Even my voice lessons have gotten easier because I can breathe so much better.  I have dropped 7 pant sizes, gone from a 7 1/2 WW shoe to a 7 M (one of my motivators for the surgery was my big fat feet.  Not only because I couldn't find shoes wide enough, but also because I couldn't reach them!).  Shopping is starting to get fun!  Now if only I had the pocketbook to keep up with the wardrobe changes! From a physical standpoint this has been one of the best decisions I have ever made.

Now, from an emotional standpoint, it's not so easy.  When researching the surgery, I read all about the emotional fallout.  People (like me) who are emotional eaters have to find new ways to deal with their emotions.  I didn't really have a problem until I reached the 100 lb mark.  For months, I've been trying to figure out what was happening.  Last week, I had an epiphany.  I have been overweight since high school.  I've always been the fat one.  So much so, that it started to define who I was.  After losing weight, that definition had to change, but to what?  I have spent so much of my life thinking of myself in terms of my weight that I never stopped to think of any of my other qualities.  I am now at a place where I need to redefine myself in a positive way, which is terribly difficult for someone who has focused on the negative for such a long time.  

There I go being depressing again...Like I said, I have no regrets!  I am a stronger person both physically and emotionally (despite the recent insight).  And I'm really looking forward to reaching goal!

remember

I stole this from eggface.  I added a comment or two of my own when necessary.  Sometimes it's good to remind ourselves where we've been.

Worst things about being fat:

I always thought one of the worst things about being fat was that other people knew my "issue" I mean most people have "issues" but they don't surface till you get to know a person... mine were right there on my backside, on my stomach... 100+ pounds of issues. They knew I was out of control and every other good thing in my life was negated because of that.

Other things that sucked about being fat:

-Having to drive around for "diva parking" because walking across the parking lot was tiring.
-Going shopping with friends and only being able to buy purses.
-When people you were with asked for a booth and you weren't sure you could fit.
-Going to concerts and not being able to fit into the t-shirts.
-Being hot all the time.
-Narrow aisles in stores (especially antique stores many times my butt almost took out a breakable or two)
-Weighing at the Dr. office and seeing them move that little metal weight over one more notch.
-Being limited to three clothing stores.
-Not getting much play anymore ;)
-People analyzing what you order at restaurants. Forget going into an ice cream shop.
-Airplane bathrooms. Enough said.
-Tray tables on planes and sitting in the middle seat.
-People always saying, "You have such a pretty face."
-Walking by a group of teenagers and hoping they didn't make comments.
-Having pictures taken.
-Ordering things like special shirts for an event or bridesmaid dresses.
-Those desks with attached chairs at University.
-Not fitting on roller coasters and amusement rides.
-Getting into contortions to paint my toes (or just to put on socks).
-Worrying when I heard a creak in a chair.
-Backseat seat belts.
-Old-fashioned movie theater seats and stadium seating.
-Packing a small getaway bag is impossible. 2 garments took up the whole bag.
-Summer clothing (sleeveless, short, revealing, definitely not fat-friendly)
-Never getting a piggy back ride or being swept off my feet.

I'm sure there are many more and it's been therapeutic making this list so as I think of more I'll add to it.

I never want to forget.

one year

Today is one year anniversary of my surgery.  If I were in a more reflective mood, I would write a year in review of sorts, but I'm not, so I won't.  However, I couldn't let the day pass without mentioning it. 

thinking

I think part of the reason I haven't been posting is because I have nothing worthwhile to say. I annoy myself with the inane babbling I usually post, so I have just stopped posting. I don't have time for thoughtful posts. And most of the time, I have no idea what's going on in the world. Time won't be an issue for the next few weeks, but I don't know that I'll be catching up on the happenings in the news. I don't know why, though. I used to be a CNN and BBC junkie, but I'm just not much interested these days. Maybe a few days without homework, finals and religious school will reignite my interest in the world. Until then, I guess you and I both have to deal with my ignorant ramblings.

umm...

me: "I'll take that one. No wait, size matters."
him: "what do you want"
me: "large"

awkward pause.

Who knew picking out a uniform shirt for work could be so suggestive.

cruel summer

This has been a rough summer. Between summer classes, a second job and my return to adolescence, I'm exhausted! I can't muster the energy to be my normal obnoxious self, and oddly, people are not happy about that. I would think they would welcome a break from my sarcasm. Go figure!

Because I'm not in the mood to write anything worthwhile, I'm going to give you a topic to discuss. What makes a good feminist? Talk amongst yourselves...