I filled out a FAFSA tonight. Yes, I know, I'm a little late, but I decided paying for next semester on my credit card wasn't a very good idea. I'm not expecting any free aid this late in the game. I am, however, hoping to take out a very small student loan. The interest rates are lower than the credit card and I can defer payment until I become a bit more financially stable. That's the theory anyway.

I had planned to write an enlightening post about upgrading my cell phone, but I just got home from Dayton and want to sleep now. Maybe tomorrow.

I've been a very bad blogger lately. In my defense, the cold I thought I was getting over came back worse than before and I was completely useless for most of last week. I'm feeling more or less human again, so I thought I should post something.

There are times that I truly wish I was a writer. Every year at Thanksgiving, my cousin and I bombard my grandmother with questions about the family. Over the years, the story of her life has begun to unfold. For some reason, this year I decided I wanted to write that story, fictionalized of course. But as I've stated here before, I am not a fiction writer. It's very frustrating to have story ideas and not be able to do anything with them!

I suppose it was inevitable. When do you think they'll start building the Enterprise?

Love and vengeance

I just got home from seeing The Magic Flute and now I have the Queen of the Night Aria stuck in my head. My goal is to be able to sing that aria, high Fs and all!

Anyway...I've had a crush on a man (are they still called crushes at my age?) for about 6 months now. It's really weird though, because I don't much like him as a person. There is obviously something about him I find attractive, other than his appearance, but there is also something about him that completely turns me off. I know this is actually a common conundrum, but it's the first time I've experienced it. I really am one of those people who is more concerned with personality than looks (okay, everybody says that, but some of us actually mean it), so if I find his personality off-putting, why am I still attracted to him. I would like it to stop now, please.

The geology test wasn't that bad, which always worries me. It's when you think you've done well that you fall on your face. Uplifting, aren't I?

Watching Bones and studying for geology. Relative geologic time and half-lives. woohoo.

Evolution

Lately, I've had some insights into myself and my character. It's a rather surreal feeling to understand your motivations and obstacles. Most people just stumble through life, reacting to various circumstances, but not really understanding what was behind their reactions. I'm not saying I'm fully self-realized. That will probably take several more incarnations, but I'm starting to understand why I try to knock down the brick wall in front of me with bare hands instead of just walking around it. Say what you will about psychiatry and drug therapy, but I know I would not have reached this point without that help. Psychotropic drugs are not the path to enlightenment, but without healing yourself emotionally and mentally, you'll never get there.

Okay, I feel the need to lighten the mood. How 'bout a quick survey?

Currently watching: Heroes on nbc.com
Currently listening to: Apocalyptica plays Metallica by Four Cellos -- Even if you don't like Metallica, I highly recommend this CD. It is beyond words!
Currently reading: Geology notes, I have a test on Wed.

More tomorrow...

Talking in circles

Sometimes I wish I had studied philosophy. Not because I enjoy philosophy, on the contrary. I think philosophers are pretentious windbags who don't actually say anything, but manage to convince people of their superior intelligence by using big words and talking in circles until no one understands what's being said, thereby causing people to believe the philosophers know more than they do. However, philosophers have one trait I wish I had: the ability to present a logical and rational argument. I tend to argue purely from emotion, which gets me nowhere, so I want to learn to argue dispassionately. Example: There are people walking around campus wearing empty gun holsters as a protest to a state law that bans guns on college campuses. I fully support that law, and my initial response to those wearing the holsters is: "Why are you stupid?". That line of questioning doesn't get me very far. So maybe philosophy isn't completely worthless if it can teach me to present an argument in a way that the other person understands and doesn't make me look like a complete idiot.

Before I end this, I am in need of opinions. I'm thinking of transferring this blog to wordpress.com. Any thoughts?

boredom


helpful

This cold, or respiratory infection, or whatever it's called is kicking my butt! Posting will resume when I can stay awake past 8:00.

It's been a strange weekend. Now I'm exhausted and not ready for the work week. But I got myself a free bottle of wine to get through.

Fuck